Contd!!! Read on.
Average/Acceptable Compatibility: Amos 3:3 “do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” To agree to do so would mean “to accept to; to consent to; to assent to; to undertake to; to have the same opinion about something; to concur …………” It is definite that there must be an agreement between two if they intend to walk successfully together, especially down the road of relationship through to marriage.
Average/Acceptable Compatibility: Amos 3:3 “do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” To agree to do so would mean “to accept to; to consent to; to assent to; to undertake to; to have the same opinion about something; to concur …………” It is definite that there must be an agreement between two if they intend to walk successfully together, especially down the road of relationship through to marriage.
Let’s take a
peep into what an agreement is. It is a negotiated binding arrangement (set of
rules and conditions with binding obligations and liabilities) between two
parties as to a course of action; the course of action in this case is in
achieving a successful relationship. An agreement can be verbal, legal (in
print) or personal as the case maybe. Looking at the three forms of agreement
stated
Legal would be a “contract
marriage” which is not the main focus of the write-up.
A verbal agreement would require
acceptable inputs (verbal terms and condition) from both parties before it can
be enforced or become a binding obligation in a relationship (terms and
conditions like “allow me my space; must have my own room; habits; mutual
respect; accountability; responsibility; career pursuit; family accounts;
appearance; make-up; sex timetable; number of children; accessibility to
in-laws and friends; association; church or religion; where to live; life
style; nanny; recreational activities; type of meals; turns to take up domestic
obligations; must avoid terms or condition
… or I walk”). These terms must be fair, satisfactory and agreed on by
both parties before committing to the relationship. Let me share an experience
to substantiate this. “I visited a female
friend many years ago with the intent to get a relationship started. After
pouring out my vibes, she requested that I make a verbal sacrificial commitment
as the only condition for acceptance. Wow!!! Now that was way beyond my
acceptable limits. The request was not directly proportional to the degree of
love to accept; so, I left sad but again glad that I never did. The condition
was just too weighty for the intended relationship and timing.
This agreement
can also be termed “Acceptable Compatibility”, where defensible terms and
conditions define “compatibility” in relationships. The degree and duration of
acceptability depends on both parties and varies from party to party.
Durability depends also on personal, future or external factors that may impact
on the agreed terms and condition (example: cases of people growing apart as
they age in the relationship or changes associated with individual temperaments).
More coming!!!! kindly drop your comments
Amazing piece! Compatibility is key but I have also come to understand that sometimes, God tests our character and the manifestation of the fruits of the holy spirit in our lives as we deal with our partners. So in times of conflict or when the bond is being created, both parties may suddenly feel that they are not compatible in the first instance. Compatibility in this context may be on the basis of both parties being believers in Christ Jesus and having a union of values in life knowing that God's word should take precedence in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteThank you Bb. Marriage comes with its own storms and that's how the foundation, what we have built on it and our strengths (faith inclusive) are tested. Compatibility needs to be established before commitment in order to avoid internal conflicts while standing against external storms.
DeleteInternal conflicts vs external storms. #keyword Many thanks Tekena
DeleteNice read and thought provoking as always, so does Compatibility debunk the general notion of "Opposites Attract"??.
ReplyDeleteTeddy, it depends on the context. Male and female attraction, yes but compatibility can either solidify the attraction or repel it.
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